Diaries of March

And I wake up everyday in grace for the things I have had, and I do have something is lost, a room escape of my daydreaming, one key is missing, one motivational idea, encouraging feeling that flows from inside, is lost just like my lungs awaits for the smoke of a cigarette, this is exactly how I feel about you, poisonous but wanted, I want to feel again, not the paradise of happiness, nor the bottom line of depression but rather than this all, the euphoric sense of tragedy and drama, a strong smell of perfume, that might mist-fully make you feel like suffocating, but still awakens your heart tubes Lost in time and in words, I feel the midnight's depression following me all along, keeping me alert and brainlessly awake, as my fingers hits the musical melody, my brain goes deeper in sleep the slow beats of the delicate heart, pumps the vibes inside, flowing streams of blood refresh the soul and leave my body asleep in time Oh how I wish for the ending of this world, all t

By then, you lose all meanings of human good deeds, human good interactions, by then you move to a phase where you cannot really think about good intentions, you lose the meaning of good people around, and jump into a phase where you only know that within each person lies a bad, wicked, unrelieved hatred, you close your eyes to the good things, you close your eyes and realize there are much more secrets hidden inside their hearts and brains, all the good meanings and energies you as an innocent child used to believe in, start to lose their meanings and fade by time, the meaning of love, friendship, partnership, those were lies told to us to think people can be good, can love you, can sacrifice much for you, but eventually  you step into a higher level of reality, the only stable reality that focuses on you, only you. After a while, you start to meet them again, you laugh, you do the daily-checklist with them, but at the end of the day, down on the list, you only choose the comfortable