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Showing posts from June, 2012
And I wake up everyday in grace for the things I have had, and I do have something is lost, a room escape of my daydreaming, one key is missing, one motivational idea, encouraging feeling that flows from inside, is lost just like my lungs awaits for the smoke of a cigarette, this is exactly how I feel about you, poisonous but wanted, I want to feel again, not the paradise of happiness, nor the bottom line of depression but rather than this all, the euphoric sense of tragedy and drama, a strong smell of perfume, that might mist-fully make you feel like suffocating, but still awakens your heart tubes Lost in time and in words, I feel the midnight's depression following me all along, keeping me alert and brainlessly awake, as my fingers hits the musical melody, my brain goes deeper in sleep the slow beats of the delicate heart, pumps the vibes inside, flowing streams of blood refresh the soul and leave my body asleep in time Oh how I wish for the ending of this world, all t
Maybe I sounded crazy and disconnected, but I felt it the scented air as I walk through the building, Couldn't even control the craziness to hide it though hard as stones to the bloody strings facts that are delusional, but I miss you I miss a lie, a drop of rain, a sound of thunder impending happiness adjacent to the edge, counting days to finish it up, finish us up  dreams are shown mistakenly I lay down to the sweet sin of life I bow down to desires  yet I stand up so high to pride, Mixed indescribable feelings charge the air I breath  I've been there before, I've been there,  I felt okay remembering the situation, the hard lessons that burned my skin and left un-demolished scars of life, what else can I say, to what I know that lays in the future to what I knew before its going to be life after you again,  the only thing remains the same is the sentence but a different you a joyful, desiring, sinful, forbidden, energetic,kind appearance, to be b
Not only to you my loveliest mornings, but to my inner self that denied all the matters and dreamed about dispensing lies and illusions, I can never forget the excitements, each fresh morning
"I don't care about "us" anymore". another journey of finding self, a manipulation of games played in the bare ground of harsh-beautiful life, 

Your place is under construction

This is it, the way it goes is so simple, from the very beginning, as a child, you grow with the idea, that eveything  you relate to, everyone youre friends with, every play ground you play at, belongs to you,  the laughter the moments, the ideas, the dreams, they grow within yourself, thinking it all belongs to only you, you plant it, take care of it, water it every now and then, that play ground you used to share moments of innocence at, having your friends, your own people playing around you, even if the seasons change, you think it will always be the same, and this little dirt on your shirt from the playground will always stain there on your hands, on your clothes, the faces you're used to see sometimes around, will always light up your way, summer euphoric nights, the paradise of blue sky, though the little changes occur, you never realize it might hit you once in all, you grow up after couple of years to a sign on your play ground saying, " This place is under construct

Blue shiny pool

I barely remember that moment, me on the roof of our house, laying on the dirty ground, the summer rays break my sight, warmth heat fills my heart, the longing moments of nothingness, happiness is what I miss the most of all, the pool was so small, barely we used to fit inside, but it was more joyful than people, money, our days now, it was our treasure, Its not the innocence I miss the most, its the powerful trust we strongly used to radiate effortlessly, those lovely bird sounds, that used to hit the fabric ceiling, this blind hope we were born with, our shiny little dreams, our pure faith. The only time we were completely naked from adolescence and adulthood burdens, lies, wounds.
Sometimes, I really forget how much I hate my family, no seriously all this crap they load my shoulders with And yes I did think about running away sometimes, this might seem the most silly decision ever but yes its on my list, I hate them to the extent that I cant act normally with them being here, of course I do NOT include my mother from this all, I don't think I will be here writing if she wasn't with me in this all, although sometimes she gets on my nerves but I swear I'm ready to give her my soul, I always pray God to take years from my life and then add  it to hers she means the world to me if not more, but the rest of the family are just crap in the hood, they are dusty, rusty, black, foggy, negative, cold I can say everything that doesn't make you feel good, that's what they are! they always get on my nerves! ALWAYS, and sometimes I do drive myself to forget and get used to this, but its all keep on showing up, They never thought about me -Thinking about c