Sometimes, I really forget how much I hate my family,
no seriously all this crap they load my shoulders with
And yes I did think about running away sometimes, this might seem the most silly decision ever but yes its on my list, I hate them to the extent that I cant act normally with them being here, of course I do NOT include my mother from this all, I don't think I will be here writing if she wasn't with me in this all, although sometimes she gets on my nerves but I swear I'm ready to give her my soul, I always pray God to take years from my life and then add it to hers she means the world to me if not more, but the rest of the family are just crap in the hood, they are dusty, rusty, black, foggy, negative, cold I can say everything that doesn't make you feel good, that's what they are! they always get on my nerves! ALWAYS, and sometimes I do drive myself to forget and get used to this, but its all keep on showing up,
They never thought about me -Thinking about committing a suicide- or even running away from home, or even hurting myself, to some extent killing them, it might seem a little exaggerating mixed with being insane and out of self control reaching this point, but letting my mind wander lead me after many twisted closed roads, to this scenario
I'm scared myself of those thoughts, sometimes repression change stuff, molding and stoning your heart into bulldozer and your insanity into bullets!
sometimes I really do forget, why I don't spend time with them, go out with them like other normal families, why I don't sit in the living room, drink coffee and watch TV,Like I'm sort of alienated autistic daughter , they charge you with negative thoughts, with hatred, you feel dead, not only dead, you also feel like you're neglected as a prisoner living behind bar walls, they absorb your youth, your brilliant thoughts, your kindness, sometimes your love, they teach you to lie, day by day, it gets bigger, you tell lie to run away from their endless river of negative charges, then you grow it to reach to a bigger one, and bigger and bigger...
I grew up thinking this might change someday, by growing older I though I will be releasing some of those negative thoughts, some of this deadly repression, in fact it was growing up with me, all of this crap, this family feels as nasty as blood burst on road caused by dead man hit by a car, As dull and scary as the desert on moonless nights, As rusty as ship sunk in the sea ages ago,
I'm out of words, even writing about this gets so pointless,
I would rather sleep, instead of tiring my brain to do the extreme, talking about those,
I need peace, not within myself, but within my surroundings
I'm so tired, hence I'm repressed, you can say extremely ... and I don't know when am I going to explode
no seriously all this crap they load my shoulders with
And yes I did think about running away sometimes, this might seem the most silly decision ever but yes its on my list, I hate them to the extent that I cant act normally with them being here, of course I do NOT include my mother from this all, I don't think I will be here writing if she wasn't with me in this all, although sometimes she gets on my nerves but I swear I'm ready to give her my soul, I always pray God to take years from my life and then add it to hers she means the world to me if not more, but the rest of the family are just crap in the hood, they are dusty, rusty, black, foggy, negative, cold I can say everything that doesn't make you feel good, that's what they are! they always get on my nerves! ALWAYS, and sometimes I do drive myself to forget and get used to this, but its all keep on showing up,
They never thought about me -Thinking about committing a suicide- or even running away from home, or even hurting myself, to some extent killing them, it might seem a little exaggerating mixed with being insane and out of self control reaching this point, but letting my mind wander lead me after many twisted closed roads, to this scenario
I'm scared myself of those thoughts, sometimes repression change stuff, molding and stoning your heart into bulldozer and your insanity into bullets!
sometimes I really do forget, why I don't spend time with them, go out with them like other normal families, why I don't sit in the living room, drink coffee and watch TV,Like I'm sort of alienated autistic daughter , they charge you with negative thoughts, with hatred, you feel dead, not only dead, you also feel like you're neglected as a prisoner living behind bar walls, they absorb your youth, your brilliant thoughts, your kindness, sometimes your love, they teach you to lie, day by day, it gets bigger, you tell lie to run away from their endless river of negative charges, then you grow it to reach to a bigger one, and bigger and bigger...
I grew up thinking this might change someday, by growing older I though I will be releasing some of those negative thoughts, some of this deadly repression, in fact it was growing up with me, all of this crap, this family feels as nasty as blood burst on road caused by dead man hit by a car, As dull and scary as the desert on moonless nights, As rusty as ship sunk in the sea ages ago,
I'm out of words, even writing about this gets so pointless,
I would rather sleep, instead of tiring my brain to do the extreme, talking about those,
I need peace, not within myself, but within my surroundings
I'm so tired, hence I'm repressed, you can say extremely ... and I don't know when am I going to explode
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