I was shocked myself, I didn't realize that until a very later hour of the night, I used to come running to see those pictures, those pictures that were buried by time, and covered by the dust of oblivion, I was shocked not because I have changed, but by the carelessness I felt towards those pictures, I didn't even bother to check them, to see my picture, or ours, I never did that before, utterly weird but true, those pictures were somehow a memorable shadow, a dark ghost that haunts my graveyard, and remembering by now, how I conflicted myself, and denied many things to believe the lies you used to tell , now I'm seeing the same figures of the past, I'm awake, I'm in control, just like lucid dreaming I know, this is reality and that is a show, those pictures never lose their meanings, those valuable moments in time will never be lost, as much as human beings lose meaning of love, respect, compassion and trust.
I am lost in life somehow
There are too many things I am capable of doing, But I really cant seem to get any done, I do not even try, I believe I have depression, not a severe case, but at least I know I took some of the genes ( unfortunately ) from my father who seems to have it to a very complicated and severe case, I don’t know if this is the crisis of 20’s, or its only something I suffer from, I cant seem to find a path, its all blurry and dark, I am always confused and indecisive whether I want this or I don’t. I wake up everyday feeling useless, my mind is always a blank, I sip my morning coffee and think about the outfit of the day for work, nothing interesting or exciting, just boring routine every single day, and each time I want to quit smoking I find myself more indulged into the idea of dying early, I already have nothing and no one to cling on, I have a gift I do not use, or to be more precise I am not inspired enough to use it. I am out of ideas, and there is where I hit rock bottom. I am curren
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